Equality

Paula Deen

I'm a God fearing white woman but one thing I hate is racist people that use the n word to talk about a race that's not white! Paula Deen well known in the food world and world period said the other day that she purposely used that word to talk about some of her employees! What makes me mad is the fact that she admitted to using it and then said she uses it all the time! That makes me hate her and hate any thing related to her! Now mind you we all at some point in our lives have said it or thought it! But that doesn't give anyone the right to speak it in an ill will manner! Racism is something this world has dealt with not only against blacks, but whites, Mexicans, Asian, and etc! It's something that goes back to the olden days when there was slaves! I feel that everyone should be treat equally! No I don't like the fact that their are some out there on food stamps, government housing and driving nicer truck than me, carrying iPhones and more gold in their mouths than I own! I feel you should rightfully get up, get out and try to better yourself and then buy the things you want! I live on a fixed income and yes I have a nice house, truck, and iPhone but I worked since I was 18 yrs old to have the things I have! And this day it's not just the colored people its the lazy white people I'm talking about! It's the ones that would rather sit at home, watch tv that they don't pay for, live in a house that they don't pay for, drive a nice car that they don't pay for and eat food that they never worked a day in their life to pay for! That's the people I don't like! My best friend is a beautiful black woman, that's worked her whole life, raised her kid who mind you is a very good kid own her own and on her little bit she got from working, now she's working and struggling but doesn't ever ask for a handout! She's worked hard for what she has and I applaud her and help her if I have it! If I ain't got it she knows I don't! But you know she also doesn't have a car and doesn't get food stamps either! Maybe If more ppl was like her then she wouldn't have to struggle! Cause their would be more money coming into her pocket than going out! Enough about that! Racism has to stop and people need to get off their ass and find a job! 

Next thing on my list while I'm going on is that every person, child, or animal should be treated equally! Should never be treated any differently than me! Every human being wears the same clothes I do, made from the same material, some better than others but its still the same! We all have to put them on one leg at a time, and the shirt goes over our head! If you put your stuff on differently then good for you! Whether your white, black, tan, brown, red, green, gay, lesbian, straight, transgendered, or a animal! You should never be treated differently in my eyes! I know it says in the bible you shouldn't marry same sex but let me tell you! You can't help who you fall in love with! I don't care who you date, live with, or love as long as your happy then I'm happy! Your equal in my eyes and everyone should be equal in everyone's eyes! Now live life to the fullest and don't ever give up! 

Looking at myself

I see someone that's given up on life and just about give up on walking! Looking at how it hurts and how it feels to just walk in restaurant or theater or just in my house, I came to the conclusion that I've gotta start doing better or ill be wheelchair bound long before my time! I'm not ready for that and so I looked at Corey the other night and I said, "will you walk with me?" He said, "tonight?" I said, "yelp!" And so the journey began! Last night was my first night and I walked 4 laps last night which is 1/2 mile! Then I walked 4 laps tonight! I'm taking it slow and I'm just doing what my body feels like I can do! It'll take time but I think I'll be able to walk all 8 with out sitting down one day! It's something that just has to be done! I can't give in to this disease, I can't allow it to control me any longer! I just feel that I've lost interest in life lately and I've gotta gain something out of it! Ill be blogging about my progress hopefully daily! I'm gonna walk tomorrow night then I'm taking the weekend off! I just don't wanna get burned out and I can't over do it! So little at a time! Good night blog! 

Dreaming

Of days gone by and wishing for one more day! Tomorrow is Father's Day a day set aside to honor the fathers, dads or moms that played both roles! My dad is just that he's not a father he's a dad! He cared to much about his wives and raising their kids to worry about his own! Yea he bought us things we needed but you know things aren't made up of how much you spent! I've tried to make up for all the wrong he's done and tried to make them right but really all I wanted was him to truly show me he loved me! Show me don't tell me show me! But I must say all the things I've wanted he's tried to give me monetarily! But you know as I was telling my friend tonight sex isn't what I need to show me you love me. I need other things! Like compassion, affection (non sexual) and love coming into my marriage I didn't know what love was what it consisted of because thru out my years of life love was bought not expressed! I feel like Corey still at times tries to buy my love! But you know I need more than that! Anyways dreaming if better days and a better life! 

Never allow a person to hear your dreams because most will make it their own and others might try to buy it for you! Dreams are made to help give you something to look forward too! Life is just a dream because one you don't know what tomorrow holds and two it's just really a big idea! Dream is an idea! So live life on the edge a little, drive to fast, smoke cigs, drink a cold beer and live freely! Just remember that it's ok to be free for once! Peace 

Hmmm

The things that you question and the things that you see that make you go hmm! It's not every day that you see something that other wise wouldn't been seen if someone hadn't pointed it out! Like today I was out at the drivers license place and saw this kid walk in with her mother but it wasn't until my friend told me that the mother was the one getting her license not the kid! My miss perception of something like that! It's actually funny when I see things and ask someone about it and the answers you get is so unbelievable it's funny! I came home from the drivers license place and knew yesterday there was a can of skoal laying on the boat I figured it was Derek's being that he had used the boat and brought it back yesterday! Today I come home and its gone! I ask Corey where it is and he said I quote "I threw it away, cause I didn't want you to see it!" Then he wanted to go eat lunch and I see in his pocket something round and I reach in his pocket to get it out and he said hey get out of my pocket! So I then say to him what he said to me! Then he says ah ah I told Derek to leave it for me so you would think it was his! Why lie about it! Just tell me the fucking truth! But perception can play a big role in our everyday thinking! It's crazy how we perceive something! But sometimes out perception is the truth we just wait to see if the guilty party admits wrongs or what! Life goes on and as the saga continues it goes on too! One day ill be gone and won't care! Peace  

Weather blah blah

Ha you probably thought you was about to read about the weather well your not hehe! But I've been in a weird mind set lately and I'm not sure why! I think that things would be different had my husband not been acting an ass! But you know I guess he has that right! But I've been down and out lately! Just think I need a break from the world! I mean really a break that I can clear my mind, and have someone else cook, clean and all that for me! One day it's like I can't seem to move or get motivated to do anything! And it really doesn't help that my husband is just as lazy as me! I mean if he would motivate me I might do more! But sometimes life just isn't the way we expect it to be! So I gotta do what I gotta do! Yesterday I made myself get up, fold clothes wash clothes and then make supper! Today I was a little less busy! I didn't do nothing! I really just feel somedays it's never enough! I did manage to do some supper! But you know I guess that it was ok although he said he liked it just I put too much rosemary on his chicken! Hell if it ain't too much it's not enough! Anyways, life's a bitch! Peace 

Looking back!!

Sometimes you just have to take a moment to reflect on the good, bad and ugly parts of your life! Today I was sitting here at home after I had went to see my best friend Debbie for a few mins! I hate that we don't get to see each other more than we do! I'd love to spend more time with her! But you know life just gets in the way! She told me yesterday I think that I needed to slow down! I told her that I was a fighter and once a fighter sat down they would give up! Well that's me, if I ever quit pushing myself, pushing thru the pain, the aches I'll give up! I'm not ready to throw in the towel just yet or wave the white flag just yet! I've come too far to give up! Sometimes, I think back on how I got to where I am today and it really hit me earlier that I got here cause I didn't give in to my pain! Yes, I've been beat down to the point I could of have up! The moment when I had to have Corey and Missy dress me! It was a hard time! But I'm not giving up yet! Once a fighter always a fighter and I'll be fighting until the end! 

Sometimes the things that come to mind aren't always the best things, or the nicest things, but they are my thoughts and we are all entitled to thoughts! Each day that I wake I thank The Lord above for given me one more day! Each night as I lay my head down I ask The Lord to give me one more chance to be all I can be! The simplest things can make you realize that your time here on earth isn't forever! And if anyone's read my blogs before know I'm standing on the edge, and living on a dream! No I might not have the finest things in the world, but I do have food, clothes, and a shelter! No it's not a big house, or the nicest clothes or the finest food but it's better than nothing! Always remember that today was given, tomorrow isn't promised and be thankful for waking each day! Well, blog it's time for bed! Good night! Peace!