mind running wild

You can read the words that I write down but you'll never know what's really going on in my head! I'm like a firetruck headed to a fire! I'm full of words that I don't know how to put on paper to make them sound like something! Its just like I got all this stuff in my mind that needs to be let out but where do I begin! Before its to late! I'm not gonna stand here and let you make me out to be the one I'm not! I'm a happy person with words that can light up the sky at nite! If you don't know then just ask because I aint afraid to tell u just how I feel! You might not like it when I'm done but damn it its how I feel! Never in my life have I felt this passionatly about quiting my job! Its not gonna be an easy decision but one that has to be made on behalf of my health! Its not because I hate my job cause I don't! I love it to say the least! Not everyone can say that about the place they work! I met many life long friends! Its been quite a journey but its not one that I'd take say I hated! Its one for the record! Living my life the best way I know how! Its either you follow me or join me for the ride! Its gonna be a long hard road so if ur up for the challenge then come on! I'm not afraid of anything! I'm ready to take a stand and brand my body for the pain I've been thru! Its not an easy road I've been down I always did things the hard way never looked for the easy way out that just wasn't me! I'm a fighter not a hater! Ill fight tooth and nail for something that I want! I'm not gonna give up easily! Just ask my friends! They will tell you wgo I really am! I'm the one that's been standing behind them all pushing the to be better and never give up! Now its them pushing me to keep moving! Maybe it took me going thru the pits of hell to come out where I am now! Its not everyday you get to walk hand and hand with the devil and come out alive! Its like I told a friend one time it takes a strong hearted person to do what I did! I went thru the most difficult time in my life with no regrets or regards to who I hurt or what I did! I waa living for the moment! When you live for the moment you best be prepared to go thru the darkest parts of ur life or you'll never make it out alive! Hell isnt the best place to be! Its hot there but with good friends, family and God I made it back to the other side before I served my time! I never thought that it would be like that but in the end I learned a hard lessaon!! One that isn't taught by anyone but the devil hisself! It took me doing a lot of soul searching, thinking and sleeping to make it out! I had a lot of aplogizing to do when I did come out! Thank God for better days and things to come! As you read these words I hope you get to see a deeper side of me than you've ever seen before! It doesn't take long to realize that what you have before you is the best thing that could ever happen to you! I also learned that no matter what your mom is still gonna love u until the end! She's been my biggest supporter! She never looked down on me when I told her I was bisexual! She didn't say I hate you all she said was I've been waiting for u to tell me! It made me feel good because I was worried! But my whole family have stood behind me in my coming out process! It feels great to finally be open bout my sexuallity and not have to worry bout hiding it! Now if only coreys family would accept me and not look down on me! I'd be in a great place! My sexuallity isn't my biggest problem with his family! Actually they all love me and I love them just sometimes its like the act like they are better than me! I don't care for ppl like that! People that are bi, gay, lesbian or trannies are just like the next straight person! We put our pants on one leg at a a time! Nuthing different about us but what we like in our private lives! That's the only difference! But to some people we are against those and think we are all going to hell! Well, like I told my husband if that's the case of us going to hell then all these men who think porn is the best thing out there then where are u going? You going to hell with me! I aint gonna be walking that road alone or standing in the line getting in! You gonna be right there with me arm and arm! Skipping our way to see the might wizard! But, its not what u are its what's in ur heart! I also told him that he probably words side by side and even sits by someone that is gay, bi or lesbian at work, church, restaurant! You don't know unless thet tell u or have something on that says they are! No one knows it and its none of anyones business! But until you are happy with yourself and the things around you, then you will never be able to come out to the world! Just like my friends jo and lauren until they are happy with there lifestyles then they will never be able to actually come out so to speak to the world! You'd be very surprised at the ppl that know just by ur reactions to things and the way you act around certain ppl! I told jo and lauren both that I'd be standing beside them when they decided to tell the world they are a couple and a happy couple! But until then its my secret and theirs! Ill never out anyone because I didn't want to be outed before my time! But lifes to short to stand around and wait for everyone to accept you for who u are! You gotta be able to accept yourself! Well, the words flow on this page like the way the come in my mind random! But blog it feels great to let out the feelings I've been holding back! No holds bar now! I'm outta here! Catch ya on the flip side of the pillow! Holla if u hear me! I'm not afraid!