Thinking.....

For the first time in many months I'm not posting a mobile blog tonight. I'm actually sitting down at the computer and typing this out on a normal keyboard. Sometimes when I blog its when I'm laying in the bed because I can't sleep. Today was a pretty good day, I got my infusion for my RA which according to the doctor is doing pretty good right now. We will know more in a few days when all the blood work comes back. This time like last month they blew out my vein again but this time wasn't because of some asshole of a nurse that didn't know her ass from a whole in the ground this time was because as the nurse stuck me my vein decided that it wanted to move. I wasn't mad this time because it wasn't her fault. She moved to the other hand and first try got the IV started. She gave me my pretreat which consist of 2 Tynenol, 1 Benadryl and a steroid shot. Usually, I wait before I fall asleep until they actually start my meds today, I didn't even know she had come in there and hung the bag up or started it. I was out like a light. She said i told her my name and all that but I don't remember a thing. Wouldn't woke up when i did if she didn't cut the light back on to start my last 30 mins. I said you just now starting my meds and she said No Ms Holland you have been asleep for an hour. I was like wow. It was crazy i was just tried i guess. I go back in one month to get it again. Ok thats all about my day.
Last weekend on sunday not the one that just passed the one before that. We had to rush Corey's dad to the VA in memphis because he wasn't doing well and had already been told he his bone marrow wasn't making blood so he was getting blood transfusion and stuff. So we get him to VA about 12 am on monday morning, we sat there until about 3:30am, they was going to keep him over night and i didn't see the need for us all to be sitting there doing nuthing. So I drove me, corey and corey's brother home at 330 am. We get home about 530 or so we go to bed and got up about 1pm on monday afternoon. We called to check on his dad and he was doing better they had given him some blood. THey did a CT scan on his head again to see if the tumor from before had come back or a new was there. well, a new one is there. but he is too weak to have another surgery. Corey and his brother left on wednesday morning going camping for one night at sardis. I went to my life long friends Mark and Margie's House and had supper with them. It was good too. I missed corey and he missed me but it was good for us to have a few days apart. I think every couple needs some time apart from time to time. Thursday Corey and Derek go up to memphis to see their dad at the VA hospital and when they get there. Jody(corey's dad) told them that the doctor told him with him having to have a blood transfusion every week that he had about 2 months to a year to live. It hit the boys pretty hard because these two boys lived and breathed every word and thing their dad said to be the truth. They worship the ground he walks on. Yes they might of disagreed from time to time but thats their father. Corey's talked to him a few times and on this Monday me and him had a fight and he left to go see his parents. Well, he sat down and told his dad how he felt things should go when he passes. Like what to do with the land, guns and other personal things that he has. Corey came home and told me that they are going to have family meeting on sunday with just the kids. I hope that it doesn't get out of control and that they can be sensible about it. I know its hard to watch your parent die. I'm doing my best to be as strong as I can for corey but its so hard to watch a grown man cry without just boo hooing with him. Weve had our share of tears shed together since last week.
I told corey that i hope that he doesn't have to suffer as long as my grandmother did. Death isn't something that you can prepare for, i don't care how much youve tried you can't possibly prepare for it.
Thats the scoop of what has been going on in my life. I just want corey to know that i love him with all my heart and im going to be by his side thru it all. I don't plan on leaving him hanging when his father does pass. im gonna be right here ready to cry with him. I just hope im able to give him the support he needs. I know that its gonna hurt and im gonna have to be a strong person. I want to take a moment and say this much. Welcome Home Jody. Welcome Home.