where to start

Its been a long few days since I last posted a blog. So much has happened that i don't know where to begin. First i guess, i should say that i got a new phone and can't blog from my phone anymore. Secondly, I spent 2 nights in the hospital with my husband because he was on the verge of a heartattack. Luckily i got him to the hospital in time before i lost my best firend, husband and lover. We come home on tuesday pm, i took a nap and got up and it all got better until today. My friend missy's ex decided to fucking mess with her and her friends and it just pisses me off. She isn't happy and doesn't want anyone else happy. Tonight, I got up, went down hall way to the bed room to watch the NY GIANTS play on the tv while he was watching something on the tv in the living room. I called missy because her girlfriend left mad and i was trying to calm missy down and let her know that she would cool off in a little bit and things would be fine. Just like i said missy's gf texted her and told her that she loved her thats a good sign that she is cooling off and doesn't want to break up over stupid shit. Then, i got up out of the bed and started down the hallway only to start a fight with my husband. Its like everytime hes in the living room alone and on the computer i think he is on a porn site because he has been caught to many times looking at porn. Now i haven't been with a woman since this time last year because I dont' want to be with one. When missy and i broke up i made a vow to be faithful to my husband. Missy and I have been talking but she knows im happy with him and she understands that i love him. I started off down the hallway tonight and i thought i saw him looking down the hallway at me like he was hiding something. So i said oh here she comes i better close down what im doing and it started a fight. He made a mark that i had hurt him because i was accusing him of something he hadn't done. Then he said well, what if i had said i don't trust that your not fucking missy. I said it wouldn't bother me because i know im not and im not quilty of something. I looked at him and said why are we still together and his reply hurt me deeply, ripped my heart clean out my chest. He said, I DON'T KNOW!!!!!! that ripped my heart cleanly out of my chest that is telling me that you hate me. So, i started crying and i just told him that i was going to pack my stuff up and id be out by morning. I love this man and everyone will tell you that ive come along ways from this time last year. if i didn't love this man i wouldn't be with him right now. I'd left him for missy when i had the chance to leave him. I sit here tonight and told him that if he would quit looking at porn id walk away from missy and never go back. I mean that. Im sorry missy but you know that when you love somoene you will do what ever it takes to keep them and never let them go. I told him i said corey i love you with all my heart, id lay down and die for you, if they had said christy he needs another heart, id told that doctor to take mine right out of me and give it to him and let me die thats the honest GOD truth. Id walk out in front of a bullet if it would save him from getting shot. If that isn't love then i don't know what the fuck love is. Now, i feel like that he will never ever quit looking at porn so i have no worry about walking away from my friend missy. So missy you have no worries. I love ya girl with out you sometimes i wouldn't be here. youve helped me thru so much and pushed me to keep going. If it wasn't GOD's will then we wouldn't be talking today. Thanks for helping me thru all that youve helped me thru and im still here. I love you and i truly love corey russell holland. good night blog..