Random things!

As these words flow on this paper they aren't just my thoughts there my feelings and as you read them you might actually think I'm a little crazy but maybe I am! I hope That someone in perticular reads it! If not then I guess it wasn't meant to Be!
Where to begin, first I think your very pretty AND I've wanted you since the first day we met! But as I get to know you I realize That in just not your type AND I feel like that your out for someone so that no one suspects That other things are going on! I mean I know I'm not pretty, I'm fat and no one wants me not even my husband but I still continue on with my life! At times I feel most people don't wanna deal with my chronic pain that I'm in and my constantly having to take meds! I just don't understand no one wants to see me for the person I am and not the person that my body has made me out to Be! But back to you, I just wish you'd say hey Christy I want to keep our friendship AND I think your a great friend but I'm just not attracted to You! I promise ill only Be hurt for a few mins and ill only cry for a few mins!  But as it goes I just have that hope that one day you'll see that I'm not as ugly or non your type as you think! I'm truly a great down to earth person that's felt so unwanted all her life that I just want to feel loved, wanted and just not needed When ever you need something! I'm a great friend and Maybe I try to hard! Maybe I'm too generous or maybe I'm just too overall good for anyone! My heart is so big as I've been told a thousand times and yet I still continue to go in head first with my heart AND let it lead me into battle When I should use my head! But sometimes feelings gets in way!
As I lay here and do This blog like many other blogs I've posted from the comfort of my bed! Its a matter of time before I step out of this marriage! Its just a matter of time before I get fed up and walk away! You can only give so much before the string breaks and I'm here to tell you its getting tread bare!
Things that are going on in my head aren't the best thoughts nor the worst thoughts but I will tell you this much, its a matter of my feelings as I write them out as a release! Blogging helps me release the feelings and I don't care who reads them! I've always wanted ppl to see the real me but I'm hiding at the moment and as I hide behind the computer screen or in This case the phone screen! Unless you know me personally then you see the me I wanna be in my body! I hope that the ones that do read will still continue to read but Never judge me! Thanks! Comments are welcome! My email is rebelpride77@Gmail.com! Rebelpride is actually for my favorite college sports team the Ole miss Rebels