Fuck life

I've laid my feelings out for all to see! Some have chosen to take them and string them on and others have just decided that stepping on them is the best possible option! I've given up on a lot of things in my life! I've turned a blind eye to some people and at times I feel Like people just don't care about me like I care about them! At times when things are going Great is when I feel so alone! At times When life is upside down I feel like im a human! Not sure what my future holds but sure wish my grandmother was here to tell me its gonna be OK! It seems like its just yesterday she was telling me Christy you will find true love one day! Today I feel I have but im not sure what to do about it! There's a moment in my mind that I just feel like jumping and never being found! I'd rather die than just live my life like this! Tomorrow will be 9 yrs I Thought I was married to the right person but I guess in time its truly showing he wasn't the right One and I just settled! I hate that feeling and I Think down deep inside we aren't in love anymore! I've felt Like This for almost a year now! Its the worse feeling in the world! But I must muster up someway to stay a little bit longer! Im just hopeless and need somewhere to go to clear my mind and clear my head! Just me and nature! I almost pulled over the other day while driving and just Let phone and everything and walked in woods and sit down and never got up and just waited to see how long it would take for someone to miss me! I bet it wouldnt of Been the man im married too! He'd be the last to say oh she's not home when His phone blew up with ppl calling him! I guess the only thing that stopped me was a person that wouldn't hang up the phone until I got there! So there wasn't a way to just walk away from it all! I know its crazy but at this moment in my life not sure What im capable of doing! So blog I've released my thoughts who ever reads it then good they hear my heart! If this never gets read Then its OK too! But at this moment I say fuck it all! I give up! Devil take me away to the fiery pits of hell! My coolers packed! Only requirement in wifi access please! Thank you