Days

As the days pass the thoughts that consume my mind are endless!! The times I used to be proud of who I am are slowly fading away to times of hopelessly trying to make my life better for me and everyone around me! There's thoughts that I've suppressed for a while that keep me awake night after night and day after day!! The thoughts are time consuming cause they make my mind wonder to the depths of the ocean and back! I try so hard to suppress them more then something happens that reminds me of happier days and days that I counted on to come!! I miss the times that I laugh so hard that I cried and the times that I had not one care in the world but was my truck gonna have enough gas to make it to my next destination!! I dread these days that I'm in now cause I feel as if I'm drowning in my own house! I can't keep it clean like I want! I can't keep doing this it's killing me slowly!! Times are in need of a change and by that I mean it's time for a much needed vacation from the depths of these walls that consumes me day after day! I look at a piece of wall that has nothing on it cause the one that lived here took it all down!! How do I get my house back to a home from this filtyhy place that's it's become! I need help from the man I married but his thoughts and mine aren't in the same place!! Life is full of endless possibilities and those endless things are what keep me from being in the mental hospital! Ugh ugh ugh!! Peace blog until next time! My words are like the air I breathe worthless as the day is long!!