As my mind wonders to far depths of the world it makes me feel like its racing again down a speeding track! It's about time for me to soak up some sun and sand! It's time for me to get away from this house for a while!! Easter really got me thinking and got me to seeing that the only person that can make me feel wanted and happy is myself!! Ive lost that feeling that I've had that I love myself!! I've lost that feeling that I'm who I am because I'm here!! I wasn't loved like I should of been growing up but I can't let that stop me from showing and giving my love to others!! It's just gotta figure out who and when and who is willing to accept it!!! You must pick and choose who's the right person to receive it!!!! But the person that gets it must be willing to accept me for who I am and what I stand for and that's to be me without any regrets or any regards to life and live like its our last days!! Just time will tell whos the lucky person!! I've said it a couple times that I've missed someone and I really have!! I miss our chats and our times we spent together!! I guess that the more time apart the better the time will be when we see each other again!! You know that time is the most evil thing that we deal with on daily basis!!! Now is the time to be who we are and who we wanna be!! If your game then come along for the ride!! Its not a easy ride nor is it a no bumpy ride cause it is!!! You know that it's time to live your life to the fullest and leave the ones that don't make you happy or lead you on!! And pick up the ones that actually care and aren't leading you on!! You know it takes a big step to leave behind the ones that you need to leave and pick the ones that are good for you!! My lastest counseling session was a great one!! I've decided to start more one on one counseling cause there's a lot in my head that I must get out in the open!!! The PTSD is killing me as of late and he just doesn't quiet understand that I can't do the things that he's wants!!! Well it's been something that I don't like to discuss!! But he knows what it is and it's something that I care nothing about!! But life will go on!!!! Well good night blog and yes I still miss someone! I still miss her and I still love someone that I've loved a long time!!!!! Peace!!!!!!!!!