Head pounding but need to release something!

Laying here with a pounding headache and stomach ache! Today was infusion day and I feel my normal crappy self after it!! Just don't get this one thing, that's gotten my mind on a rolling roller coaster!! It's called a female!! Not just any female but one that I don't see often enough! She's got me so wrapped up I don't know if I know which way we are going! But I need someone tonight to rub my head and stomach and no one will! Damn am I that non pretty I guess so since Corey comes home talking about the girl that checked him out at Walmart looking hot! He's never told me! If only he knew how that makes a woman feel maybe he'd do it more often but really I don't care cause he's not into me like that! I should of stayed away when I left in December!! But I do love him but really in truly not in love with him! Sad but true I don't think he's in love with me either! I truly think if we hadn't taken a loan out to pay off some bills back in october then he wouldn't wanted me to come back but he can't pay the loan payment alone so he needed me!! I just guess that maybe I'm only good for what I do for him and nothing more! Peace blog I feel better!!