Searching

Im searching for the one thing that can make me really happy, the one person that will love me like they've never loved before, the one something that will for fill my life with happiness and respect, honor and diginity and hope! I had it one time but let it slip thru my fingers, now all that's left is broken promises and endless friendship! More than I can say for other things, more than I can say for some people! If I ever get the chance again, it want slip thru my fingers this time! They say time heals all wounds, heals broken hearts, heals most anything but one thing it doesn't heal is the scar that's left behind! The scar that I look at daily and say why oh why did this happen to me! The scar that's there to remind me of where I've been, what I did and the scar that reminds me of my days gone by! The emptiness inside of me is overwhelming at times that I feel like I'm gonna drown soon, the feeling of being alone, the feeling of not knowing what to expect from anyone or anything! The loniness that feels my heart when I cry out for someone to love me! I look at the scar and I see why I'm empty, why I'm alone, I'm just too good to be true! I can't love someone else when I don't love myself! I say I love you and I mean I do love you but there's something deep inside of me that says the love isn't true cause I feel I may never be with you fully, I may never have you all to myself, life will never be complete until I find the missing piece of me! I thought I did 10 yrs ago but it's not the right fit, I thought I had 5 yrs ago but it wasn't right either, over a yr ago I thought that was the missing piece but that wasn't the right fit either, I now think I've found the right one but something's telling me it's not right either, so where is the missing link to this puzzle, will I find it before its too late, will I have a chance to see it before its too late, will I ever find the right fit for me that's missing? Only time will tell! To all reading this blog I'm sorry if I ramble on about nothing but all the words on this page is what's rolling in my head! Peace