Well...

As the days continue to be dim and my night continue to be spent hoping I've learned something that I'm proud to say the other person cared more about my feelings than I did! I was living a little loosely and my friend reeled me in for that I'm thank full! I couldn't think her enough but I'm not gonna say that it doesn't hurt cause it does! It hurts cause I still love her and would do what ever to be with her but tonight I realized that she knew better than me! I've given up the fighting feeling and the hope of another day! It's gone, I'm done! I've official over it! 

Sometimes it takes me seeing it and hearing it and I guess it almost slapping me in the face for me to realize that I might mean well in my mind but in reality Its not for the best! Today I should say being that is 12:36am I'm going to see Lisa and I'm gonna have a long talk with her! I'm at a point in my life I need security, I need the knowing that something might happen soon! I don't need the well I don't know, maybe, or maybe nots anymore! So, I hope that things are ok soon! 

Last thing blog that's been on my mind is that if I don't get some relief soon I'm gonna end up not where anyone wants me to be! Either mental hospital or grave! I need away from this place, away from this thing called home! It's sad that I feel I need to go away to just be happy! I'm trapped and if I don't get out soon it's not gonna be safe! Anyways, good night blog! Until we meet again!