Wind blowing

Sitting outside before the storms roll in, listening to the wind blow, dogs bark, train roll through, and kids getting off school bus! It takes me back to a time not long ago well maybe it is long ago! A time when I was sitting on my grandmother front porch with her! Talking about soap operas or just life in general! It makes me miss her more and more but I know I have an angel in heaven that's been watching me since 2001 when she gained her wings! It's amazing how much I reflect back on that's happened since that day and how much I wish I could just take a trip to see her and just hear her voice one more time! I know she's walking and probably already fattened up everyone up in heaven with her home cooking and cakes! Life seemed so simple back then and now it seems so complicated at times that it feels like I might never do enough to make anyone proud! At time it seems like all the good I do no one notices but I mess up one time and it last in there minds forever! I might never be the perfect person anyone wants me to be but I am who I am and I'll always be me! Learning to control my anger has been my biggest challenge in my life! Learning to direct it where it goes and not at who is standing in from of me has been hard! Life sometimes throws rocks, stones, oranges, lemons and you name it at me! But I've learned that you have to accept what's thrown and just move on! Not hard for some but for me it's been hell! All my life I've been a fighter for something I've wanted! But then you know now I feel like giving up! It's not worth it anymore why keep on! That's when I think about how much fight my grandmother gave and how much she taught me to keep going no matter how much it hurt or how bad I felt! So what do I do! I keep going! I push thru I keep pushing until every once of energy is gone! Yea I'm not one to quit and I'm not about to start now! Wind blowing and birds chirping thank you lord for a glorious day!