Last of photos

1st Sofie pouting cause I spanked her for chewing up my phone charger only the third one in a month!

2nd No bake Peanut butter Chocolate Oatmeal cookies that never got hard

3rd Marriage Eqaulity I believe you should be able to marry who you want 

4th pepperoni casserole from a recipe I found on Facebook! It was awesome and Corey said you can make this again lol 

Hope y'all enjoy my photos! Just a little bit of my life! 

More photos

Since it want let me do but 7 at a time ugh! 

1st Harley and Sofie was proud to see their daddy! 

2nd Looking up from picnic table at Blue Bluff Campground 

3rd Sofie Pouting cause we left her daddy at camper and she was going home with me she was mad! 

4th Corey said I looked a hot mess I said thank you you've never said I was hot lol

5th headed to pay bills 

6th JJ's birthday cake (Debbie's grandson) 

7th JJ with his cake 

More Photos

1st Corey and Sofie reading Game of Thrones book

2nd Me with my glasses on 

3rd Corey's New Ride 2005 Dodge Ram 2500

4th Corey and Sofie sleeping 

5th Holland spelled out in objects for Betty's new house

6th me and my Friend Debbie

7th my lonely buttercup my grandmother was shining down 

Dogs, Corey and me!

First is Reese and my brother! That's my niece! 

Second is Me and Corey at his 20 yr class reunion football game

Third is Harley, Bella and Sofie a few days after we got Sofie and a few days before we lost Bella! May she and boomer be running the fields, playing and splashing in water! 

Fourth is me and Sofie in a stare down! Can you tell who won? Hehe! 

Fifth is Sunday afternoon nap! Corey and Sofie 

Sixth is Harley watching Sofie on porch! 

Seventh is mom, me, grandmother and great aunt! Paulette(mom), me, pauline(grandmother) and Aunt Inez circa 198? 

Forgot photos!!

Here are some photos from my shooting days 

First one is mine and Corey's second time shooting 22's and first time shooting Betsy Bug my 20ga second photo is close up see big hole that's my first shot with a 44 rifle! Yelp I hit the target and Corey missed! Next is me first day shooting! With my glasses and ear muffs on and it was cold! Next one was where Corey shot the metal rod half into that's from today!! Last one is Sofie going home from camping she was sculking cause her daddy wasn't going home with her! She was mad at me! Hope y'all enjoy my photos!! I'll add more later! 

Skeet Shooting

I'd been telling Corey I wanted to try skeet shooting at the shooting club we joined! I'd watched him several times and I thought I wanna try! Well, I'd been hounding Corey to go shooting for almost two weeks now! He said ok, maybe tomorrow well I just got tired of asking so yesterday I told him on our way to eat lunch that I wanted to go today before it rained again! He said ok if we have time we got things to do! Well, he had to go to work for a few hours this morning and he came home and cooked breakfast we are, balanced check book and paid bills! Then had to get my oil changed cause he had put synthetic oil in it by accident and we needed it changed back to the kind we use! So we did that went to hunters haven got my fishing license and bought some bullets for my pistol! I said we going to shoot today he said thinking about it lets go home and see what weather is gonna do and so we did! It looked like we would have some time before the rain came! So we went got my truck parked it at Kroger at mall and went shooting! We get to the club and there's a guy in there that needs someone to pull for him so he can practice sporting clay shooting for competiton!! So Corey and him get out there and they shoot thru a box of shells and then Corey pulls for him to shoot another box! Then I told Corey that I wanted to try skeets! I took out 13 bullets and put them in my pockets on my shorts! I was a nervous wreck by this time! I stood on the pad got gun ready, said pull the clay went out I pulled trigger nothing! I wasn't frustrated cause it was my first time I mean really! Only shot the gun 3 other times before this time! So, Corey stands be hind me helps me get my aim right and tells me to pull trigger! Still no hit! So I shot one more time still nothing! I walk across to the other side! Let me explain the pattern of skeets! You have high and low! Or double! Well, you start almost up against the high house and you alternate high/low high/low! Well, I walked across to the low house and I stood there and I said pull first shot nothing! Corey's said I think your not moving with the target! I said ok! Well, I was getting hot so I stood there for a min and I took my shooting glasses off and my hat! Low and behold I hit it! I almost started jumping up and down! If other ppl hasn't been there I would of probably started hooping and hollering! But I didn't! So next one I miss but because I was too amped up from the first one! I had 3 bullets left! I said I'm gonna do it! Well, Corey pulled and I shot and hit I was smiling hard now! Next one I grazed the edge of the clay! That's not technically a hit! Last bullet, pull and shattered it into a million pieces! I was so happy it was like a kid in a candy store!! Then I was tired and Corey was gonna finish out the rest of the bullets! So he was down to the last one! I said one more try from the high house! He said ok! Well it was no hit I gotta practice high house more! But all in all a good start to a shooting day! We load up and head down to the pistol/rifle range! I've been practicing with a .22 and I was getting pretty good with it! I loaded it up and Corey gets target set and I start popping bullets! 9 of 18 was in a complete line! 2 was dead bulls eye, other 7 let's just say I was wild like a nervous fool! Then Corey shot it and hit the target a all 18 times kind of all over! Well he'd wanted me to shot a 270 to try to get used to it for deer hunting! Well he played with scope and got it dialed in almost perfect I said I wanna try one time! He told me how to breathe and time my pulling of trigger with my exhale breath! So I did and I hit just to the left of the bulls eye but with in the bulls eye circle! I was so darn happy it was crazy! Well Corey moves it to 50 yards and takes one shot well he some how puts the bullet dead center of the metal rod that was holding the target together! Blows a chunk out of it! I mean the target flew around like someone had just broke it! The box behind it looked like someone had set it on fire! I laughed as he walked back to the shooting table and he was mad but I thought it was funny! He calls his brother and I took at picture of it and ill post it for y'all to see! But I've had a fun day! I'm really enjoying learning to shoot guns and trying to better myself so I can go hunting I've always wanted to go just never been! But, maybe now I can go! Anyways, life on the home front has been pretty good I mean we have a little spat but everyone does! Things aren't going as well with his job right now cause they having so many shut down days cause they've got too many tires! But I figure as some gets closer they will be back in full swing before long! But, I made the first payment on his new truck on the 20th and it felt weird making a truck payment again! But he's been so happy for that truck! Every time I see one for sale I'll say there's me a gray one, or red one or something like that and he'll say uh yea ok! But he deserves it and I'm proud I'm able to provide for it! He's done so much for me that he deserves it! Well blog I started this blog at 1145 and it's 1215 now guess ill try to sleep again! Peace 

........????!!!!!......

My mind has been racing like crazy tonight and one thing that keeps coming across my mind is my grandmother! I know it's getting close to the anniversary of her death! It saddens me to think that she's been gone 12 years! More and more I miss her, when I least expect myself to miss her there she is running thru my mind! Tonight I was just sitting there in my chair in the living room and the smell of Ben gay filling my nose! Now mind you I don't own any Ben gay nor is there any in my house! She would use it when she hurt really bad! I know it had to be her spirit letting me know she was there! But it scared the hell out of me and I asked Corey did he smell it and he was like your just crazy! But I closed my eyes and just allowed my body to relive so many memories of her! I miss that woman!! She was and will always be my best friend! I couldn't ask for a better person to love me and teach me the things I needed to learn! But I know she's having a grand ol' time in heaven and that in itself makes me smile!! 

Today, I went to a little boys birthday party! Debbie's grandson had a birthday yesterday and they had a little get together today! He's a bundle full of all boy! He's so cute ill add a couple of pictures of him and his cake that Dot his mother made! He's such a cute little boy! But he like all other kids remind me why I don't have kids lol! But I don't mind spoiling them and then leaving! Lol! He's a cutie and gonna be a ladies man when he grows up! Today this little girl was there and he was calling her baby, feeding her and even kissed her! He's so stinking cute! But anyways other than that I've had a pretty good week! Couldn't complain nothing major has happened and I'm glad of that! But it looks like in a could of weeks Corey will be off work again this shutting down stuff is causing lots of problems but that's ok cause I've enjoyed having him home! If I can just get him to quit dipping life would be great! That's my only complaint with him at the moment! But life isn't perfect and I know it never will be I mean but it's better! I'm thinking of taking my mom to the beach for the first time in her life in may! Then I'm going to Atlanta for Chipper Jones retirement ceremony I can't wait! Then not sure where Corey and I will go for our big vaca but I'm sure it's not the mountains lol! But anyways I need to get my ass off here and in the bed! I gotta be at my friends house in am at 9! Whew no sleeping in for me! Darn it! Lol! Good night blog! Peace

Just a blog

Today was a good day! Got to see Debbie and then spent the afternoon with Corey! Yes I've been trying to spend more time with him and all that! It was good to laugh with him and cut up! I seem to be having more fun times with him now that I've relieved some of the stress that he's been under by losing all contact with missy! I think really down deep inside that he felt she was a threat and that she was trying to get me away from him! Missy and I haven't been sexually together in over 2 or 3 yrs! But he always accused me of it! Life must go on, everyone comes and his in your life you must find the right ones to stay! I hate that I lost a friend but in reality I see now it's been truly for the better! I didn't ever think that I'd ever say that I was better off but really I am! Certain things I do daily have been hard but as time goes on I know like everything else it'll get easier! There's one thing that's truly gonna be a test on Monday when I go for my infusion! She was the person I called on way to and first person I called when I left! But I can't tell you how she feels cause I don't know! Maybe she's adjusting a lot easier than I have! I know I've put on a good show but down deep inside of me I'm lost!! But slowly finding my way! Courage is something I never knew I had until I had to have it! And when I deleted her from fb, my phone and other places let me tell you it took all the courage I could muster up! But I did it and although I know she's probably read every blog I've posted I can't say that she hasn't or has! But I hope that if she does read them that she knows that I have missed her! No doubt about it but one things always better than the last! As time passes and I make it another day I say that I'm proud of the road I've walked I don't regret the time I spent with her, I don't regret the friendship what I do regret is that it ended the way it did! But I guess that it's for the best! I have a tendency when I'm hurt to say things to hurt the person that hurt me I do regret that but I felt the need to hurt her like she had hurt me! Life is to short to try to make all the wrongs right and all the rights better! So if your reading this missy I'm sorry I said the things I said and I truly hope that your happy! I do miss you but at this moment it's better off the way it is! I can't say that I'm happier but if I'm gonna make this marriage work it took this! And yes you've read that I have a new friend! No it's not sexually and it might never be! But I do love her as a friend! At this moment I'm content in who I am! But I'm not content in how my life has played out! I never mean to hurt anyone, but I always seem to get hurt too! I know that I'm not the perfect person, but Im not the person that some people believe! I have feelings just like anyone else! One thing I take serious is what happens between me and anyone behind closed doors isn't anyone else's business but me and the person it happens with! And for it to be told to others hurts me! And when I say I love someone I don't just love what the offer, I love the person inside and out! Now it's been told that I was pretrayed as a person that was selfish, inconsiderate, and non compassionate! I don't consider my self selfish or inconsiderate or non compassionate! What I do believe is that I'm willing to give my shirt off my back to someone in need! I don't ask for money back that I've given all I ask is a thank you! And compassionate to me is a person that's willing to drop what ever to help whoever! I've done that a few times! Now it's neither here nor there that this person said these things!! Was the same person that I'd given my eye tooth for! Many times I've done for her but never asked for anything in return! But it's ok cause judgment day will come for us all! I just hope I make the cut and if I don't then I guess I'll end up in hell with quiet a few more!! But anyways, it's just my thoughts and feelings don't mind me! I'm just a wasted space that one day will be set free! As it's been said all the things that I've said I've done! The only thing I've ever done I regret is speaking when mad! But the rest I don't regret! Peace blog until next time we meet again!! 

I'm home!!

We've just gotten home from camping for a few days and it was so great to finally get away out of these walls and live in nature for a while! Only regret I have is not having my infusion just before I left but it's ok! I'll be alright!! I get my infusion on Monday so then I will feel better!! I might be a little sore tomorrow! I did something that I've dreamed of doing but was scared!! I shot a 20ga shot gun and actually hit the target pretty good! And then I shot a 44mag rifle at 50 yards and I hit the target!! Corey didn't even hit the target! And it was my first time using a scope!! So I was very proud of that fact too!! Anyways blog I'm gonna go to bed to read but here is my target!! Big hole is my 44mag hit!! 

Two hearts

One day I was walking down the lonely road the only one I've ever known! It was a hot summer day and there she appeared! Looking back at me I didn't know whether to run or walk but walk I did and now along on this journey with me is someone that's lifted me up! Took my hand and helped me out of the hole I was in! It was a great site to see someone so willing to hold me, let me cry and someone that didn't care I was a hot mess! Doesn't care what I wear, how I look as long as I smile! It took a strong person to help when I'd been beat down! But here I stand and on this day two hearts became one! I shall love this person the way they love me! I will hold this person just like she held me! Two hearts beat as one! And one beat misses the other beat misses too! Along came something that no one believed but it happened so quick that I'm scared! But I love her like she loves me!! 

Where to begin...

I'm currently camping and right at this moment it's pouring rain! Service is a little shitty but I am able to text so that's good! That makes me very happy!! As I've said earlier in a blog me and missy parted ways! It was a good thing but I do miss her some days! But I've learned to fill the moments I miss her with things that I needed to get done like cleaning house! I truly hope that she's happy in her life! I hope that she finds what she's been missing!! I guess that we just grew apart and that's something I figured would happen just didn't know when! She said that it was like a burden was lifted from her and everyone around her was happy I was gone! That makes me a little upset cause I was never mean nor hateful towards her family in any way! Yes I said some hateful things to missy but I never really meant them! Just I felt like she was looking for attention that I really didn't want to give her! But anyways enough about that!! 

My old/new friend Debbie it's been fun catching up with her! She came across a picture we took when we first met before we both got married! It's been a long time ago! But fun none the less to catch up! And I've had someone to help me cope with losing missy! It was a bitter loss but one that should of happened a long time ago!! I should of never kept contact when my husband really didn't like the fact! He was sciptical of it cause I guess in the back of his mind he thought we was still sexually together! I would of been but she said she didn't have an interest! Then I come to find out she was presuing a close friend of mine and that really put the final blow or final nail in the coffin! Anyways, Debbie's been trying to get me to come meet her daughter and grandson but I'm just not ready for that! I remember Debbie as the innocent little woman that was wanting a sexual encounter but we both agreed that we just wasn't ready for that! She wasn't and I really wasn't either! So we chose to opt out of it! So now that we are reconnected I really just want to be good friends and if something leads then later that'll happen when it happens!! But anyways I'm not ready for a relationship cause I still have a bad taste in my mouth from the missy deal! Anyways! It's time for my bed to be calling me! And this rain is making me sleepy!! Good night!!

Relief

Didn't realize that I had many personalities but it's been brought to my attention tonight! But anyways I really wish I could find them all and bottle them all up!! Cause some days I need them!! I just wish that I really hadn't wasted so much time on something that I had loved at one time! But life must go on! It's time to let go it's time to let go of things that's caused me trouble, that I've loved but don't think there's enough love for this person any more! I can't help but wonder sometimes if she ever loved me! Or did she love me for what I couldn't give her!! But, anyway I guess I've been a bad person! I've caused her pain! But she's caused me pain to! But it's just me I'm just a worthless person too! Yea I said she was but really maybe it's me! Maybe it's me that's the problem! Well I'll start by running away and then now that I'm out of her life as she said everyone is happy and she's felt like a burden lifted off of her! Well I hope that it has! Good day blog peace!