Gone

Well, it took me many years to finally say that she's gone! It's hurt like hell, I've cried, I've asked myself are you really sure this is what you wanted! But the answer I keep coming up with is yes! It's for the best! Her and I have shared a lot but I feel at times she was sucking the life right out of me! It had gotten to the point that it was a chore to talk to her because it seemed every little thing I did wasn't good enough! Then she tries to come between me and one of my friends! That's when the line got drawn! I really hope she's having a great life! She's blocked me on Facebook which is fine with me because it's better that way! I just hope one day she will get help for her mental state because I truly believe she's got issues! But anyways blog it's for the best I truly gave it all I could give it! My marriage was more important! I might regret it one day but right now it seems right! I meet a new/old friend the other day ran into her at Walmart I was sitting in my truck waiting on my friend Dana and she walked up to my truck and was like girl where have you been!! It was a good site, been over 10 years since I last saw her just before I got married! It's been good catching up with her and meeting her daughter for the first time! She has the cutiest little grandson! I could take him home with me but I'm sure Dot wouldn't like that!! Debbie is the type of person that you never forget but just lose touch from time to time!! She's been living in Rhode Island for a long time now! Just moved back to Pontotoc last year! She's a sweet person! We had lunch together the other day just catching up on each others lives! It's been fun, then I went down on Monday and seen Lisa! It was good to see her again, spend some time with her and enjoy some good lunch with her!! We rode by Enid dam/lake and I was amazed at how low the water was! It was unbelievable! But I'll be proud when warmer weather gets here so I can wear shorts and flip flops and go fishing and camping! I think this year I'm gonna be a permanent  fixture at Trace state Park think ill stay there all summer! Sometimes, I wish that I lived on the water 24/7! Hopefully sometime in may ill be taking a little girls trip to the beach with my mom, sister and sister in law! I'm really excited about it and can't wait!! Well, blog I think that's it for now! Oh yea I've had a few good days and a couple of bad days too! But I know every day is a new day and I'm thankful for waking up each new day. Good night blog! 

Hmm

Well, I've been told that I've caused someone to block and delete someone else and I turned them against this person! It's seems crazy to me that this said person would even think that being I haven't said or done a damn thing! Then, it seems funny to me that said person would go after someone that I still have some feelings for! Someone that I dated a little bit! That's what pisses me off! Then they say they love this person but haven't ever met this person! But said person wants to kill self because said person got rejected! I've heard those words before! Because when me and said person broke up said person was same way! It's so crazy to me that I get brought into something that I didn't know anything about until tonight! Yea it all came out tonight! But I'm the one that caused it! Hmm if I really had something to do with said person wouldn't ever been on other persons page in the first place! It's not a fucking game! I'm too old to play damn games! I quit doing that back in 4th grade! Or hell maybe before then! I'm just fed up with all this back and forth shit! Like I told said person if you really wanna kill self then why tell someone so they could try to talk you out of it! The two times I tried I didn't tell a sole because I didn't want anyone to talk me out of it! But said person is about to drive me over the edge and I'm wondering if that's what they really want! Ugh!!

Another note I guess days of been happy and free are over since I'm paying for Corey's new to him truck! He's worth it though! He deserves it, his was on its last leg in last 2 years we've put more money into it than it was actually worth! But he's got a new one now and i told him to take good care of it' lol! He's been driving me around and it's been so nice to actually not have to drive for a change! But I know that wont last long! Anyways blog my eyes are crossing think I'll go to bed now! Peace!!

Time to say fuck it

I'm pissed but really shouldn't be! I shouldn't be mad but it really pisses me off how someone uses others to get what they want! I just don't understand why someone feels that they need to try to use someone that I'm close too to try to get this person away from me! I have deep feelings for this person but there's someone that can't stand the fact that I do have deep feelings! And this person try's to get the one that I have deep feelings away from me! It hurts my feelings that the one I have deep feelings for would even entertain the fact! I mean Im about tempted to tell them both that they are made for each other!! Maybe they can be happy with each other! Anyways, I'm so much better than this! 

I've been talking to a woman that I really have a lot in common with! So much in common with that it's almost scary! She's so easy to talk to, easy to get along with!! Tomorrow since I'm not going to see another friend because she's sick them I'm going to meet my new friend!! I'm actually kind of excited to meet her! I think we will be lasting friends for a long time! Good thing is that she's also married, and it's truly just a friendship! Nothing more! And as far as the rest go it'll all come out one day!! Just gotta let it run it's course! Anyways blog just needed to vent!