Hmmm

The things that you question and the things that you see that make you go hmm! It's not every day that you see something that other wise wouldn't been seen if someone hadn't pointed it out! Like today I was out at the drivers license place and saw this kid walk in with her mother but it wasn't until my friend told me that the mother was the one getting her license not the kid! My miss perception of something like that! It's actually funny when I see things and ask someone about it and the answers you get is so unbelievable it's funny! I came home from the drivers license place and knew yesterday there was a can of skoal laying on the boat I figured it was Derek's being that he had used the boat and brought it back yesterday! Today I come home and its gone! I ask Corey where it is and he said I quote "I threw it away, cause I didn't want you to see it!" Then he wanted to go eat lunch and I see in his pocket something round and I reach in his pocket to get it out and he said hey get out of my pocket! So I then say to him what he said to me! Then he says ah ah I told Derek to leave it for me so you would think it was his! Why lie about it! Just tell me the fucking truth! But perception can play a big role in our everyday thinking! It's crazy how we perceive something! But sometimes out perception is the truth we just wait to see if the guilty party admits wrongs or what! Life goes on and as the saga continues it goes on too! One day ill be gone and won't care! Peace  

Weather blah blah

Ha you probably thought you was about to read about the weather well your not hehe! But I've been in a weird mind set lately and I'm not sure why! I think that things would be different had my husband not been acting an ass! But you know I guess he has that right! But I've been down and out lately! Just think I need a break from the world! I mean really a break that I can clear my mind, and have someone else cook, clean and all that for me! One day it's like I can't seem to move or get motivated to do anything! And it really doesn't help that my husband is just as lazy as me! I mean if he would motivate me I might do more! But sometimes life just isn't the way we expect it to be! So I gotta do what I gotta do! Yesterday I made myself get up, fold clothes wash clothes and then make supper! Today I was a little less busy! I didn't do nothing! I really just feel somedays it's never enough! I did manage to do some supper! But you know I guess that it was ok although he said he liked it just I put too much rosemary on his chicken! Hell if it ain't too much it's not enough! Anyways, life's a bitch! Peace 

Looking back!!

Sometimes you just have to take a moment to reflect on the good, bad and ugly parts of your life! Today I was sitting here at home after I had went to see my best friend Debbie for a few mins! I hate that we don't get to see each other more than we do! I'd love to spend more time with her! But you know life just gets in the way! She told me yesterday I think that I needed to slow down! I told her that I was a fighter and once a fighter sat down they would give up! Well that's me, if I ever quit pushing myself, pushing thru the pain, the aches I'll give up! I'm not ready to throw in the towel just yet or wave the white flag just yet! I've come too far to give up! Sometimes, I think back on how I got to where I am today and it really hit me earlier that I got here cause I didn't give in to my pain! Yes, I've been beat down to the point I could of have up! The moment when I had to have Corey and Missy dress me! It was a hard time! But I'm not giving up yet! Once a fighter always a fighter and I'll be fighting until the end! 

Sometimes the things that come to mind aren't always the best things, or the nicest things, but they are my thoughts and we are all entitled to thoughts! Each day that I wake I thank The Lord above for given me one more day! Each night as I lay my head down I ask The Lord to give me one more chance to be all I can be! The simplest things can make you realize that your time here on earth isn't forever! And if anyone's read my blogs before know I'm standing on the edge, and living on a dream! No I might not have the finest things in the world, but I do have food, clothes, and a shelter! No it's not a big house, or the nicest clothes or the finest food but it's better than nothing! Always remember that today was given, tomorrow isn't promised and be thankful for waking each day! Well, blog it's time for bed! Good night! Peace! 

Headache

A week ago tomorrow I went to hospital to have a port put in because my veins are wore out from all the prednisone and infusions! It was a bitter day but I knew it was for the best! Sometimes you just gotta allow your fears to be released and your worries lay them down before The Lord! That's what I did! I discussed it with Corey and that morning we said a prayer and it was like a wave of relief came over me! It was a feeling of I got this! And that he did! He pulled me right on thru and I know he's watching over me! 

Today I scared the life out of my family! I was sitting on my dad and step moms couch and just fell over! I don't remember nothing about any of I just remember waking up in the ER! Corey was there, carol, Dana, my sister, mom and brother was all there! I said what am I doing here and they told me what happened! The said my sugar was 33 when I got to hospital and was like 20 when they loaded me in ambulance! Luckily I was somewhere that ppl was there too and I wasn't home alone when it happened! I feel ok just head hurts! I just wish I could remember what happened! But my port is bleeding a little bit too! So I might have to have it worked on they aren't sure if I might of hit it at some point! But I'm suppose to be checking my blood sugar every hour and before meals! Gotta start eating better! And I just hope that I don't have to do insulin! But right now diet and some pills! Yea just realized that adds another pill to my daily doses! Hmm that makes 9 pills daily and 12 on Thursday! Cause on Thursday I take the 3 RA pills that help my infusion! Wow! Great I'm a walking medicine cabinet! Yelp! But anyways just wanted to write how my day went! Ugh! Good night