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Its been quite a journey over these past few months! I've learned many lessons! I've stared the devil in his eyes, I've fell to the deepest place I've ever been! I've been literally in hell! It was a trip I care not to take anymore! I've lost a friend/stepmom, father/asshole and almost my husband! I guess you could really say that I've lost one whole side of my family with the exception of a few from that side! Its ok though because they'll need me before I need them! I guess that time will tell if I forgive and forget what that man did to me and the pain I've caused him and his dear wife! Its been along time coming I just couldn't find the time to do it but when I did I knew what I was losing! I didn't really lose a father because he's never really been a father anyway! To everywife he's ever had he was a father to her kids but to his own he was another deadbeat dad! Its just that's my feelings! Any man that sexually molested their own daugther whether it be 20yrs ago or 2 days ago its still not right! But its ok because when it all came out I felt a sense of relief that I've never felt before! I felt like my body had been healed and really in truly somethings had been healed! But, I'm keeping my head up because my friend cheryl told me one day christy you've lived thru the tough times and you survived don't do anything stupid! So I didn't, I'm a much stronger person because of it! I've learned many things! The ones you call friends may not really be friends! On to the next thing I've started a new chapter in my book of life! Its called "keep it moving!" that's my new motto if your in my life to try to bring me down then keep it moving! If your in my life to ruin my marriage then keep it moving! If your not in my life to share my joy then keep it moving! I'm not going back to where I used to be! I'm not going to stare the devil in the eyes again! Once was enough! Just like I just said I told the devil to keep it moving! I aint got time for your ass in my life! Now that I'm a changed person I've got to learn to kick a few people out my life that might cause me some issues! I've got one pretty much on the same page as me and the other one I just need to tell her to kick rocks and keep it moving! I'm not one to break off a realationship, friendship or anything but I've got to step up and do it! Well, blog my fingers hurt cause as usual I'm in bed typing this out on my phone! Good nite all and peace out!

Cold beer and sunshine

Its been so nice today that I hate I was stuck inside all day at work but I'm off now! Its time for a cold beer and the smell of fresh cut grass makes me think of summer! I'm ready for it to be sunshiny all day everyday and to be warm! Its crazy but it makes me a better person to be nice and toast warm! Makes my beer go down easier 2! But since I can only enjoy the last few hours of sunshine I'm gonna rescue another beer from my fridge and save it from drowning! Have a good day folks!

Do I!

I heard this song when I called someone the other day! They had it set as a ringback tone! It got me to thinking about my marriage a bit! So I asked my husband to listen to the song and tell me what he thought! I've yet to get a response out of him but that's a man right! So here are the lyrics! Tell me if it reminds you of something in your life!
Baby, what are we becoming It feels just like we’re always running
Rolling through the motions everydayI can lean in to hold you, or act like I don’t even know you
Seems like you could care less either way
What happened to that girl I used to know
I just want us back to the way we were before
Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy
Do I have your love, am I still enough Tell me don’t I, or tell me do I baby Give you everything that you ever wanted Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely Do I just need to give up and get on with my lifeBaby, do I Remember when we didn’t have nothing But a perfect simple kind of loving
Baby those sure were the days There was a time our love ran wild and free
But now I’m second guessing everything thing I see
Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy

Do I have your love, am I still enough Tell me don’t I, or tell me do I baby

Give you everything that you ever wanted

Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely

Do I just need to give up and get on with my life
Baby, do I Still give you what you need

Still take your breath away Or light up the spark way down deep, baby do I

Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you baby

Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy

Do I have your love, am I still enough

Tell me don’t I, or tell me do I baby

Give you everything that you ever wanted

Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely

Do I just need to give up and get on with my life

Tell me baby do I get one more try Do I, baby do I

It reminds me of how I feel at times! Thanks for reading!

its over

I've allowed you back in my life as a friend! Gave you my word that I enjoyed the time we spent together laughing, talking it was great! We had some of the best times taken random photos driving to a place we've never been! It was fun! I spend time with you one day the very next day I'm being called a liar, bitch and other things! I don't understand how you say I love u just know that but refuse to answer my calls, text, emails, offline messages! Its just like u fell off the face of the earth! You want even give me a chance to try to figure out what's going on! You accuse me of stuff that I aint even done let alone I told you who they was 2! You didn't believe me like always! You just keep saying I need time well I need to know what the hell I did to try to either fix it or just say fuck it and keep it moving! I can't sleep, eat or anything! I aint ate much today because I can't! I didn't sleep last nite at all! But I don't love you and u was just a piece of ass! If that doesn't mean something to you then what the hell does! Ugh! I've never felt this way in my life! Its over! I'm moving on! I can't put my life on hold while u play little childish games! I'm too old for games! Ugh!