Life without you!

When asked if you would spend a day with me just me and you! But you don't care! You don't want to spend a mother/daughter day with me! Its been 9 years since you kicked me out of your house by telling me to pack my shit and go move in with my dad! When I left your house I told you to rot in hell! We went 6 months without talking and you never made an effort to rekindle the mother/daughter realationship we once had! I guess you didn't want me when I was young and you don't want me now that I'm grown! You only have two kids that's all you've had for 22 yrs! I was always thrown to the side! Just ask the ones that saw it! Your mother would tell u that but she's in heaven! Other life long friends could tell u but no ur jealous of them! Wonder why? So I guess life without u is the best thing that has ever happened to me! The man I married is the only one besides life long friends that has ever wanted me! But do u care no u don't give a shit because I'm not worth enough to fit in to ur busy lifestyle with ur only daughter! Life goes on! Life without you! Its been nice knowing you!
Good riddens! Peace out!

Bingo and random thoughts

The other night I had the urge to go play bingo and I went with 2 friends of mine! It was kind of a girls night out! We had a good time! I'm ready to go again! Maybe this time ill win a little more than 50 dollars! But you know sometimes just away from the house makes me a happy person! It makes me feel more alive and not so cooped up! I never get out to much anymore! I'm so depressed that I really don't want to go out but getting out did help some! Made me feel alive again! Maybe I need to get out more and more and ill get out of this depression! I just sometimes don't feel like doing nuthing!
Randomly, I've been thinking of a way to tell corey I want to leave home for a few days! I want to get in my truck and just drive until I got tired stopped slept and kept on driving! I feel like running away! If I did I feel that id be free from everything and everyone! I don't hate everyone or everything just need some time away I guess! But that'll nver happen! I'm sure! Well good night blog!

With this ring

With this ring which is round that goes forever never stopping I will love you forever! Those words Where spoken between my husband and I and this year I vow to be a better wife and friend too him! He deserves it and so do I! I can't physically wear my wedding band because my fingers have gotten to big from my arthritis! But one things for sure I'm married to him! He never wore his since the first week we got married! It used to bother me but I've gotten used too it! His hands are big and he works as a mechanic so if his finger got caught cause of the ring and he lost a finger it wouldn't be a good thing! But We all have little things That remind us of our glorious day Where when we said I do and the day he proposed to me! It was a cool evening in October at the most beautiful place on earth! The grove on the Ole Miss campus! It was a quite evening on campus no one was around and he walked up on the stage that sits in the middle of the grove and I was telling him all bout it and I went To turn around and he was on one knee and with tears rolling down my face he said will you marry me! I quickly said yes and he stood up with tears in his eyes and hugged me!  That night his niece was born! So not only did God bless me with a great man he blessed us both with a great new member of the family! Sweet McKenzie was born at 11:45pm that night 2 hours after he proposed to me! Then on a chilly night in December we said our I do's and be came one! Our short little honeymoon to Memphis was short but sweet! Following year we official went to Orlando on our real honeymoon! So with that ring I began a life with the man of my dreams!

Happy New Year

I made it another year I didn't take my life like I said in the last blog but I do vow to take some time and get my head on straight! This past year brought many days of pain and many hurtful things where said! I apologize to anyone if I hurt your feelings in the past year! What happened in the past is gonna stay there! Its time for a new year and a new me! I'm gonna work on being a better person, being a better friend, being a great wife to my husband! Only one thing that I did in the old year that I wish I could take back sometimes is a promise I made! If only I could retrace my steps and not said what I said I might could be happy with myself! Right now I'm in dire need of the touch of another female that its about to drive me fucking crazy! My promise is keeping me from doing it! I had a chance to talk to the one I made a promise to, tonight and we came to an agreement that I wouldn't break my promise but if something ever happened between us we would put aside our friendship and go into it like we just met! I can do that not so sure she can! Well, 2011 is supposed to be a great year because its and odd number but you know its only gonna be as good as you make it! My 2010 ended just the way I wanted it too! It started with great friends and long convosations about nuthing! Just catching up on old times and shooting the shit! I miss my days at the wag with dana and cheryl! It was always fun working with them! Its been a long six months not seeing them everyday! Although I do talk to dana everyday and cheryl about once a week! I rang in the new year with another great friend! A life long friend that I've slowly started to catch up on many years lost! She and I have the best time when we are together! Just talking and reminencing about old times! I couldn't ask for a better way to start my 2011! I hate that my husband wasn't there with us but work is more important! I hope that my 2011 continues to be great! I hope everyone reading this is gonna have a great year too! I think I've typed enough my fingers are numb! So good night blog and cheers to a new year and a new improved me! I'm gonna change! I gotta or else! Peace love and happiness!