The long Goodbye

Laying here feeling like it's time to say good bye, my life isn't worth living, isn't worth the pain that I'm in! Why must I go through this daily to just wake up the same as I went to bed! My mind races, my body aches, my heart beats loudly but my soul says it's too late! Living in a lie day in and day out has brought me to the point of no return and to the end of my rope! I see the bottom of this hole slowly getting closer! What must I do, how can I stop it from reaching up and grabbing me! I see it and I'm within a few millimeters of hitting bottom I've been here before and i feel it's the best place for me! This bottomless pit is my new bed, my new life, my new everything it's the only place I find comfort, the only place I find peace and the only place dark enough not to see myself! Looking thru the hole at the top the light is getting dimmer and soon it'll go out! This life isn't the life I wanted and isn't the life I feel i should of been given! The day my father took my innocence away was the day I died as a child! He caused this and maybe if I end it he will finally admit that he's the cause of this! I don't want you to shed a tear over my body if you didn't shed a tear while I was living above the hole! Don't enter my hole hoping to pull me free because this pit is my only safe place! Leave me here for the world to see what it's like to be in a state of despair and confusion and hurt! If only my father hadn't taken my life so long ago is still be here today! Depression won another battle and hell will gain another body to the despair of the innocence that's been taken! Shall you see this I'm sorry that I couldn't tell you bye but remember I'll always love you! To Corey who caused this tonight just because he didn't want to listen to me speak my mind about suicide now he sees what I was saying! Suicide is the only answer when no one cares anymore! So long my friends! May you all live long and may my life left some imprint in yours but don't allow my death to cause you any pain! Don't cry, but laugh, don't weep but smile and don't morn but rejoice that I hurt no more!