Sad

The past two days have really taken a toll on me mentally and emotionally! I didn't realize that a senseless wall post on Facebook could cause so much to happen and then a post on Craigslist to add too it! Yes it hurts but what hurt the most was I was mad at for something I didn't have any control over but then when I got mad over something I was wrong! Yea I'm better now but heart still hurts cause the things that happened caused some trust to be broken! It might take me a little bit to gain it back but I'm not one to stay mad long but hurt yes I stay hurt awhile! Today as I set at home with no way to go I think I'll do some soul searching and see of I can find an answer! Yea blog I know she's reading this and I know she's hurt too! I'm not giving up yet and will fight for what's right!  End of that!

Corey's truck in shop and amidst all the other going on I had to break down and call my dad and stepmom for help! It's not sad that I had to call its more less pride is hurt cause I had to call! Pride is a lot of what keeps us going and a lot of the reason we don't do something's! Pride is deep with in us and is instilled in us at an early age! Corey and I are struggling daily to make the life we used to have! It hurts that we don't have the comforts we used to have! But we still make it! I've struggled my whole life some way or some how I managed to come out of it only to be thrown back into it when I had to quit my job in 2010 and let me tell you it hurt deep! But my body didn't want me to keep going the way I was! Although things might seem like they are falling into the sinking earth one day we will come out smelling like roses! Struggling with things other than monetary is hard too! Although at times I hear the words I wanna hear like your cute or beautiful but often times I don't hear them from the right person! I've always been fat and I always will! Right now there's no possible way to lose the weight! Too many meds that cause weight gain! But I don't care about that I careless about what I weigh or how I feel! But my self esteem might be better if one person in my life would say it just once a month even! Yes I'm talking about Corey! But if I say something to him then I'm being overacting cause then he does just cause I said something I shouldn't have to tell him to tell me I'm pretty! That should be common sense! He doesn't even tell me he loves me or kisses me or even hugs me unless I ask for it or do it first! Why you ask I don't know! I've asked that question a few times only to hear I don't feel the need to do it daily! Well your wife feels the need! But anyways blog just my random making no sense blog!Peace