Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Hard day and Birthday wishes

This am when I woke I had one thing on my mind and that was how I was going to stop myself from calling Missy! In the last 4 years or so everytime I went to doc and infusion I called her most of the time I woke her!  She never minded and It always made my wait time in the doc office and time in Infusion center go so quickly! I was driving to doc and it dawned on me and I teared up, I said self you can do this! I went to reach for phone and I kept telling myself don't do it! So I Didn't! As I walked in to office and signed in all that I thought was damn this wait is gonna be long! And it was, I had no one to text, call or nothing! But then it really hit me, I have no One to share my good news! It was heartbreaking but I made it until this evening when I broke down and emailed her this very story! It hurt but I felt she needed to see that the love I share for her is a lot deeper than the love She shares for me! But, as my Night got worse I begin to see that she's not only been my rock at times she's been my helper to help me along! I know she thinks I'm being harsh but really I'm not! If something ever happens to Corey and I there will not be any interaction between us after I leave or we go our sperate ways! That's just me! I'm sorry but its how I am! I know like everything else with time it gets better! This shall too! End of story!

Tomorrow is my mom's bday and I know That she's not been the best person in the world but I do know that she's still my mom! I love her and always will! Happy Birthday mom! And I Hope for many more with u!

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