All I ever wanted

Was to be loved, and have loving parents that loved me! That's all I wanted and all I still want! Seems that my dad's never really shown love the way most dads should! Always seemed he loved his wife's kids and not his own!! And my mom seems to have only 2 kids and never had the middle child!! All I ever wanted was love!! I think that I've been searching my whole life for that one person to love me! Can't say that I didn't love Corey went I married him but I think I was looking for a way out and for someone to love me! I've caused this man so much heartache, pain and strife that I don't deserve him! He shouldn't still be with me but he is and I really feel he loves me and I now know I truly do love him! I told my counselor that very thing the other day! And I told Corey that too! Love is the hardest 4 letter word you ever have to deal with! I've searched, sought, and tried to find on my own and I can't find it own my on! So I sought out counseling! Hopefully I'll be able to find it! Just thoughts