Dear mom

Hello mom, I doubt you will ever read this but if you happen across it I hope it speaks volumes to you! First, yes a lot that happened in my childhood with my father has to do with my PTSD and depression but a lot has to do with you too! You pushed me off on him, and anyone else that would "watch" me for the night! And you never knew this but Mavis touched me a few times and made me touch her! Why do you think I got the feeling for wanting to be with woman? If you was a better parent and actually cared for my well being and not where you was gonna get your next beer and who you was going out with! You might of known that things where going on! You didn't give 2 shits about me then and you haven't cared about me in the last 24 yrs for sure cause of heather and don't get me wrong I love her to death she's my sister but your trying your damnest to make up all the time you lost with me with her! Now since we are on heather subject when was the last time you picked up the phone and said hey Christy wanna take a me and you weekend? Never and you never will! You have 3 kids whether you admit it our not but you do! But I think you've lost sight of the middle child and the middle child is about to loose sight of you! No I don't expect you to call me daily or ask me to go somewhere weekly but it would be nice to have a little time just you and I! And since we are on that subject then you know your first born isn't the saint you make him out to be! You caught him in bed with me when we lived in the trailer behind Pam and Dale but did you do anything no! Well later in life he made me suck his dick repeatedly! And I even tried telling you but you wouldn't listen! So why don't you keep putting him on that pedestal that you've kept him own! And as your doing that watch me slowly slip away! It's too late now, it's too late to make up for lost time! You will see one day when I quit calling, or texting or visiting that you've lost me! All this I go thru daily comes from the lack of having a mother figure that cared about me! I lost the only mother I knew in April 2001 and you wonder why I acted out! You told me to pack my shit and move in with my father and that's what I did! Never to return! And no matter what I won't ever return!! You've made your bed now lie in it! I'm done so long! Peace!!