Hmm

Sitting here thinking and I've drawn to write another blog about my friend! She's wants to be loved so much , but she's looking in all the wrong places! I just hope that one day she will begin to look in the right place and that's her heart! Before you can find love you've gotta get rid of the bad in your life first and then the good will follow! I've told her that a few times but it just seems she's not listening to me! But anyways blog enough about her! 

A few weeks ago or maybe a month ago I posted an ad on craiglist and what responded to me was something that I didn't expect! She seems like that she wants to be a great friend with maybe benefits! Just not sure she's ready to meet! We was suppose to meet just after Christmas but something came up and she had to go to Missouri on the day we was to meet! But you know I know that we all get scared! I just hope that soon we meet cause I'm really ready to see her face to face!! I haven't even heard her voice yet and I can't wait!! But anyways! Then I have this friend out in Arizona that wants to meet me and I'm like dang that's a long ways away lol!! But I have a few friends just not any that likes to text like I do!! I just like texting it's like my phone is a part of me and it'll be a cold day before you get this phone out of my hand lol! Well anyways blog my phone is bout to freaking die so peace!! 

New year

This year is ending better than it started! Sometimes I'm proud but sometimes I'm not!  I'm happy with my marriage, but something is missing still! I know what it is just finding it! I've tried but come up empty handed! I miss having that girl on the side! I miss missy, most of all I miss Natasha she made me feel like I was wanted like missy did! I've got a friend that I'm talking too and I really think once our schedules aline then, we will be great friends and maybe more! I just need that touch of a woman!! I need that occasional encounter with a female that I just can't get with Corey! Life is just crazy! One day I'll be happy and when that day comes!! I just hope it's soon! I miss having that friend that I need!! But new year and a new day or a new life! Just hope that my friend works out!! I really like her!! Well blog ill keep you posted!  

Haven't felt up to blogging

It's been a while and sometimes when I think about it something happens and I just forget to write! I used this blog to vent so much that I guess I don't have anything to vent about! But a few days ago I've had an anniversary and a birthday! It's been a good few weeks! But I leave Saturday to go on a family vacation with Corey's family! Whew hope I'm up to this! Good night all just tired tonight 

RIP Bella

On 11/12/12 I took my baby girl to the vet because she wasn't eating and she was swollen in her belly area! She started phanting really bad when I got her to the vet! They took her to weigh her and when they did they had to put her on oxygen cause she was in potential heart failure! They told me that to get her stable to see what was causing her to retain the fluid! I called Corey and told him he ask me to ask them to call him back! The vet called him back told him everything that was going on! He came back in and told me that Corey was gonna call me back! I asked him to come up to the vet with me! I walked back in to the room and the vet met and said that she's not gonna make it I said go ahead and just put her down! The nurse came in and told me to sign the paper to authorize them to put her down! Before I could get the paper signed she passed on her own! I thought when we lost boomer it was bad but losing her really hurt more! My two sweet babies have now gone one without me! I know that boomer met her with his tail wagging and jumping all over the place! They are reunited 2 yrs later! I know she's not in pain anymore and she's running around the rainbow bridge!! I miss her! But just before sweet Bella passed The Lord blessed us with another little girl! Sofie, came from a family friend who couldn't take care of her cause she got really sick! Sofie, is a sweet little pug mix and I think she's a puggle which is pug-beagle mix! She's a little wild at times but she's a sweetie at times too! I can't think of the things that would of made my life any sweeter than having two sweet babies, along with Harley and sweet Sofie now! Harley is Jody's little sweet baby that we inherited cause Jody couldn't take care of him! Then you know how Sofie came from! You know I don't mind not having kids cause I've been able to rescue some sweet animals from the shelter! I love them all! I'll add a few pictures of them all! I just miss her and boomer dearly! Enjoy!! 

Long time ago

I started this blog as a way to vent my frustration with the world! Not very many ppl read it and not very many should cause I spare no ones feelings I speak my mind and from my heart most of the time! I've decided that something's are better left alone and something's are better left unspoken! It seems odd to me that we used to talk daily and then all of a sudden you just quit talking to me! Hmm maybe it's something I said or did I don't know and right now I don't really care cause your not really a friend if you only talk to me once every 3 months! I mean we talked every day and some days we hung out together but I guess there's other fish to fry and other fish in the sea! It's time now for me to delete you from my phone and when that's done I've official deleted you out of my life! Maybe one day we will meet again but until then hope you enjoy your life and remember you did once have a friend in me but now you have nothing in me! So long to you! 

Life is about making hard choices, living on the edge and sometimes flirting when your drunk! Yelp that's what I did tonight and whew I almost had her but I guess it's best to be friends and not ruin what friendship we do have! A year ago a person walked in my life looking for an experience and got scared and ya know we've formed the best friendship any girl could ask for! Although tonight I almost broke that friendship and almost became her experience! Whew proud I ran out of drink before that unfolded cause a friendship is more important than a one time fling! Well it's time to go to bed my body hurts and I really wanna just sleep! Good night world! Peace!

Where oh where to begin...

Days go by that I think you know I wish I could do this or that! But one thing that I really wish I could do is talk to my grandmother one last time! Just listen to her sweet voice tell me she loves me and let her just talk about what ever! I've been talking to her a lot I know she hears but I want to hear her! As the days get shorter and the nights longer I find myself looking at the sky for an answer! But I don't see one! One day I will!! 

I've been searching for a "friend" just ain't seem to found her yet! I guess it's just not meant to be which is good in a way and bad in a way too! I want someone that I can hang out with and go places with without Corey thinking something is going on! He swears that I've got someone on the side when I don't! I ain't been with anyone since back the beginning of the summer! I just don't really care about the sex part it's other things I want this person for like just holding me, cuddling, laughing, listening to me bitch and just being a friend! I mean I have lots of friends but I need more than just that, I need someone that understands when I need to complain and understands my complaint and just doesn't say oh I know or i understand cause really unless you live in my shoes then you really don't understand! But anyways if your reading this and think you know someone or you are that someone then please let me know! Cause I need a hug right now and no one to hug me! Anyways blog I'm gonna cut this one off right here! Forever and always Peace!

What if...

I stopped for one day and walked away from my phone, Facebook and just watched tv or laid in bed and read! Do I think I could no because this phone is my life! Some days it brings me joy, sorrow and pain! Other times I don't know why it's my life! Today I went to a funeral for a man that I didn't even know but you know I knew his wife and one of his kids! It's the little things in life that sometimes we most stop and appreciate more and more! Never have I ever thought about it as a end to one thing! But you know as its been said life is short and when The Lord says its your time to go you will go! When he's ready for you! But until then you know you might as well continue to try to live on your own and do what you feel is right! I hope that I've walked the way The Lord wants but I know I haven't always! But you know we all sometimes back slide! Enough of that! 

The grass is dying slowly on the other side of the fence because I've realized that my husband has stood by me when I needed him and has tried to help me anyway he can! And that I truly need to stand by him! I do love this man and wish that I had more to offer! But I don't! Anyways I'm headed to bed! Peace