New Year!

As 2013 comes to a close I can say I'm better than I was at the end of 2012! I've come a long ways in my healing process and I've seen who my true friends are and who really cares for me! Sometimes I think that others times it's just better that I've walked away from some of my friends! When I really think back on 2013 I've done more for myself than I ever have in my life! I'm learning to let go of the past, I've gotten the help I needed to recover from abuse! I'll always from this moment forward continue to heal! I've come to far now to give up! I've come to far to turn back! He will no longer control me in 2014 and neither will anyone else! I'm taken control of my life and I will be in control from this day forward! Taking back control has really helped me! Today I talked to a friend about something's and I hope that I helped and didn't hinder! Sometimes I try to help but other times I don't know if I'm helping or causing more pain! But maybe I did!! I'm a better person than I've ever been!! Courage is something that I never thought I had but i do and anyone reading this that has ever been abused you too are not alone you are worthy and it's not your fault! The monster that did that to you will pay in the end! And you will finally get the freedom you so deserve! Just takes time!! This past year was hard at times too and I one time I actually planned out my suicide attempt and I was willing to go thru with it but I changed my mind! Can't say it will be last but next time I might not back down! I might do it! But here's to a new year and hope it's joyous and full of happiness! Cheers! Another cider down and one more to go!